me: wow this is fucked up
vagina: idk it’s kinda hot :|
me: vagina no
vagina: ( ͡ ° ͜ʖ ͡° )
"Hey, you shouldn’t eat that. It’s not good for you."
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
ah one time I read this post and jumped off a building and flew for six miles before landing gently in a pile of bullshit
Awww, you tried so hard, but unfortunately I can’t hear you over the sound of my debt-free college degree and massive disposable income.
if ur having a bad day please enjoy these puppies playing with their mom
when a bunch of your favorite artists release new music at the same time
lady gaga’s dog is wearing my college tuition around her neck
Watch that dog get robbed real quick.
…can you rob an animal?
If i see it on the street we gone find out.
if she flinches when you go to put your arm around her … someone else’s hand wasn’t so sweet … if she questions you … someone else has lied to her … if she doesn’t tell you things … someone else once betrayed her secrets … behind every cranky, complicated girl or girl who is scared to love is … a girl who is tired of being broken.
im glad i have a tumblr so i can see the same four posts a thousand times on my dashboard
if you dont eat the pizza crust you are weak and natural selection is coming for you
"Are you kidding me?"
“No, im adulting you”